Confidence...or the Lack Thereof

The first statement in my "About Me" section (on the right-hand side of this page) says, "I am a fan of reading, free writing, and being confident." I'm not sure any of you who've been reading my stuff have noticed that before. Probably not. And so I'm taking this time to draw your attention to that one phrase..."being confident."

Fruitless Toil and a Meaningless Life: Iz Aal Well?

[January 2, 2012 journal entry after reading Ecclesiastes 1:3]

Solomon begins the book of Ecclesiastes with this statement: "Everything is meaningless."

Wouldn't you agree? I mean, what do we get from working our butts off throughout our lifetime? What do we gain? What do we achieve? We work hard and get rich and live lavishly while working feverishly to maintain our lifestyle--but where does the cycle end? Are we going to be really, truly satisfied? At what point (is there even one?) could we stop working and start enjoying our life?

Two-Oh-11: A Year-Ender

"The end depends upon the beginning. The END. DEPENDS UPON. The Beginning."
--The Emperor's Club

I began this year with the hope of turning over a new leaf. I was looking forward to a new chapter in my life. I was hoping to launch myself into the world, confident and courageous.

I overcame fears. I crossed boundaries that I have set for myself and discovered that I could do much if I set my heart on it. I failed some and exceeded some expectations others had of me, and whether that's a good thing or a bad thing depends on the kind of expectations those were.

I struggled about a lot of things. I had my heart broken a million times more than I could ever remember in the last 20 years of my life, by more people than I can count with my two hands. I grew older, and for the most part, wiser and keener for the little things and the big things that affect me in big and small ways, perhaps respectively.

In sum, 2011 has been a wacky rollercoaster ride, but one that I don't want to get in line for again. I do believe I will get off and walk away with my head spinning.

Ah, Young Love!

I had a humorous but rather distressing encounter with teens and their concept of love a few weeks ago. I was talking to a bunch of girls about 1 Corinthians 13, which is commonly known as the Love chapter of the Bible. I decided to discuss it because, well... let's just say that I kinda wanted to know how much they really understood love, since they were so into it. You know, "in" love.

Kids these days. :/

It's a Blogger's Life

Sometimes I hate being a writer. My thoughts keep me up at night, and it doesn't let me sleep until I release them into written words on paper. Sometimes, that's not even enough, too, so I have to pull out my laptop and type like mad--maybe that's adrenaline rush for writers--and I am left exhausted, as if I'd just run a race. Then again, that's what I love about writing--just when you need it, inspiration comes, and then you've got yourself one heckuva story/article that you couldn't have created if not for the late-night hyperactivity of your brain. (Well, of course, it becomes a masterpiece after you've edited it with a clear head, and not while you're trying to keep yourself awake. :P) Now, if I could only get readers, then I'll come full circle... 


Wait. I do have readers. YEY! :))

Rude Awakening

There are times when you think you know what you want, but when you get it, or are about to, you just realize it's not what you want after all.

Like a line from one of my favorite books goes, "Nothing is so good as it is beforehand." There are things that you think will make you happy once you get your hands on it, but when it's there, it's like, "Uh...that's it? No fireworks? No crowd cheer? No confetti and balloons?" It's not like you imagined it to be, and worse, the cold truth smashes you in the face--it's not really what you wanted all along...

In Other News

Been busy. Not really because of NaNoWriMo, though. (YES, I JOINED!!!) Just life in general. Haven't posted here in a while, but do check out my other blog, Journal Bites. Happy November!

No Man is an "I"-land

Empowerment. Ah, what wonders has it done to the female race?

Green, Green Grass (Green and Bear It)

Sometime today, I came across a rhetorical question that I thought was very clever so I decided to copy it and forward it to some people. Here it is:


"If the grass is always greener on the other side, then once you get to the other side, will you want to come back? Will you ever be on the greener side?"
from the saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."


I just wanted to find out how people will react, and how many people will find it funny, but there's this one response from a Wise Guy that really struck me:

The One that Got Away

 I was clearing out cubby holes again the other day. I don't know why and how I was able to come up with such a dramatic letter, but here it is. Dated June 2009. I have a feeling this is gonna be controversial. XD

Sid,

I've come to realize that I'm really not the one for you. You have plans for your life, as I have for mine, and we have to admit that... well, they really don't match.

You're already this accomplished doctor, while I am still waiting on the inspiration to write my first bestseller. And I know that you're ready to settle down and have a family of your own. But as for me, I'm just about to take off and launch myself into the world. You're ready to be with someone, while I... I still have to be somebody, you know? You are closer to fulfilling your dreams than I am to mine. So I'm giving myself to those dreams. I can't make them come true if I give myself to something, or somebody, else. I can't be half-hearted about being a respectable author, and I'm not. So...

I honestly think that we're just...disctracting each other. I guess it's better if we just go back to who we were before. I don't want you to wait for me. I don't want you to hold back because you're letting me catch up with you. No, I won't let you do that. I'm ok with being just your friend. You'll find somebody who's good for you, better than me, the best that life can give you. God has greater things in mind for the both of us, and I don't want to get in the way of His plan for you.

Don't hate me. I care about you, but I just don't...see you in my future. To me, you'll just always be a friend. Thanks for being such a great one.

Go and find yourself THE ONE. And I'll be one of those happy people at your wedding. You will invite me, yes?

Love,

Darl