No Man is an "I"-land

Empowerment. Ah, what wonders has it done to the female race?
Well, it's made us realize that there's more to life than being somebody's girlfriend, and eventually, wife. (Not saying, though, that it keeps us from wanting to be that...eventually.)

It's made us step up to the plate and venture into all sorts of things--things that we thought only men could do, and things most men refuse to do (like, for example, LEAD? *biased*)

It's encouraged us to pursue our dreams and to dream beyond the four corners of a house of your own, with your own kitchen and barbeque grill for outdoor picnics. (Ok, sorry, no offense to the married ones, ok? But please just go with me. I'm not trying to start an argument about single life vs. married life. I'll get to the point soon enough.)

All I'm saying is that, today, women are empowered. Women are starting to establish their competence and challenging the men's. And more of us are coming out into the world as independent, strong women who, like the song goes, don't "need a man to make it happen." Our careers rock. Our income is sizeable. Life is good.

Please stop thinking I'm feminist. But I'm female, after all. LOL.

Anyway, like I said, I won't talk about how awesome it is to be single (because I know all my gal pals out there think, as I do, that it's legendary, and singleness is underrated).  But I have a series of questions about this whole empowerment thing.

I mean, who is ever really independent, anyway? What does being independent really mean? Humans can't live by themselves alone. No man is an island, right? Humans are social beings with social needs living in a social world. So is there any one person who really has everything that it takes to live life and does not need anything or anybody else?

Well, I think no one is ever really independent.

I mean, yes, we all want to make a name for ourselves. And yes, we need to learn to fend for ourselves and not be a burden to others. But can we do anything without a little help from our friends, even family? No. Nobody lives alone. Nobody wants to be by himself when sick or injured or going through a breakup or death of a loved one.  Even the most anti-social person is only actually anti-social because there's this need for...a deep connection, a certain kind of attention that only people who care enough can give, sincerely and genuinely.

Independence, if I may say, does not equate success. I say this because I just feel that most people think that you can't get to the top when you're around people too much, because they weigh you down. I don't think that's true. In fact, I believe the contrary--without other people backing you up and cheering you on and believing that you can do it, you wouldn't even think you could get to the top, you know? Yes, self-motivation is key, but outside motivation helps a lot, too.

So I guess it doesn't really matter how independent you (think or say you) are.

Strength, however, is another matter.

I do think that one should be strong enough to handle life and get a hold of himself because there's just nobody else who could do it for him. We have to be strong for ourselves because sometimes people just don't understand and will refuse to accept weakness. But dependence on other people is not weakness. In fact, it is reality. We need people. We need each other. Recognizing that being with people is important is not a flaw or a fault.  Leaning on other people when you feel overwhelmed or weak is not wrong; it's the natural thing to do. With the people who know me best and whom I know love me and care about me, I don't think I have to prove to them how strong I am. I don't have to act all tough and confident when I know I'm not.

More importantly, you don't need to go around showing everybody that you've got your whole life planned out as independent people would, because lest we forget, there's a God up there who's got you're life planned out already, and no matter what you do or say, His plans are gonna happen.

So if independence means I have to learn to live by myself for myself and disregard the fact--the truth!--that I need others, well, I just might as well stop being human and start being a robot, or the tin man from Oz, who was cold and heartless, if you know what I mean.

We're just not wired to be off by yourselves. We can't make it all on our lonesome. It can get pretty lonely at the top, anyway. So why strive to be there? I mean, yes, it’s not so bad to be #1 this and Most Awesome at that or Legendary Master of this and King/Queen of that. So why rush, when you can share the top spot with the top people in your life? We'll all get there, eventually, so might as well make sure you have people to victory party with!

I guess all I'm saying is that being independent is great and all that, but really, if you're gonna be something, just be strong. You can't "do" life alone, let's face it, so when there are people to share the good and bad times with, go ahead! I mean, nobody has ever climbed Everest alone, and nobody got to the top by themselves. Think about that before you start shoo-ing people away. Time to get a travel buddy!