Why I Don't Have a Boyfriend: Random Thoughts in the Train

Ok, keep those eyebrows down, will you? :))

I don't know why I'm even writing this, aside from the fact that I want you, followers and dear readers, to understand or just have an idea of why I (and probably some of my friends--I'm not sure) are not romantically involved yet, have not been at all, and/or are not planning to be in the near future.

Hear me out first! :))


I was on the MRT today going to work when these thoughts came to me.

I began thinking about the guy friends I've had and those I have in my life right now. And I began thinking about how things would be if (IF!) I ever (EVER!) became romantically involved with them.

Mind you, I didn't do that for long. Couldn't stand the thoughts. LOL! I kid.

But, seriously, it got me to thinking why I still don't have somebody coming to pick me up after school and riding home with me (or driving me home!) and taking me out to dinner on the eve of Christmas eve, stuff like that. I realized that I could have gotten myself a boyfriend from any one of the guys that have been friends with me for a long time and who know me quite well.

That is, I could have, if I wanted to.

I guess they've understood that I wasn't about to just give myself to anyone, even if they were my friends. And maybe that's why I keep them as friends. :) For that, I admire them, because they respect me enough not to strain our friendship by going beyond it.

I realized that I could have been involved with any one of them if I wanted to, but I didn't, and they probably knew that, so they stopped wanting to, also, if any of them ever wanted to, and settled on being friends and turning me into Dr. Love. Hahaha. Yes, lots of guys ask me for advice about getting the girl and stuff. Well, they used to. But now, not too much. I guess we all grew up na rin. Funny thing is, that was one of the reasons I also took up Pscyhology. :))

The question is, why don't I want to? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe I want my freedom. Maybe I want to be independent, see if I can make it on my own without being dependent on another person emotionally. Maybe I want to have as many guy friends as I could keep without having to worry about my boyfriend getting jealous. Maybe I just enjoy being friends with guys more than I would if I were somebody's girlfriend.

Maybe.

I actually asked myself, what if I get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one? I laughed and then shrugged off the idea. No, I can't do that. Not ever. If I know that I'm not ready for any romantic relationship, I wouldn't waste my time, energy, and money to waste somebody else's. Because if it isn't going to last, why even bother? What's the point in that relationship? If I know that it wouldn't be serious, why should I give of myself to another person and let him give of himself to me, and then leave us both hurting in the end? If I know that I am not God's will for him, and he isn't His for me, why should we rob ourselves of the time we should be preparing for the someone God meant for us to be with?

So you see, I don't get why young people are in such a hurry of getting into a relationship. If I could say so myself, this generation is in love with the idea of love, of having someone to say "I love you" to and having someone who'd say "I love you" back. But that's not what love is about. That's not what marriage is about. Yes, if we're gonna be talking about romantic relationships, we might as well be talking about marriage because isn't that God's plan for us? To find someone we will spend the rest of our lives with? If I give pieces or chunks of my heart to my ex-boyfriends (if I had any), then what would be left of my heart, and what would I give to the one God sends me as my life partner? Wouldn't it be sad if only a tinsy, bitsy piece of it was left and that'd be all I could give to him? And wouldn't it be sadder still if he had also given chunks of his heart to his ex-girlfriends and only a tinsy, bitsy part of it was left to give to me? I don't think any of us really want that.

Well, now, do you?

This is not meant to sabotage anybody's reputation or ruin anybody's current relationship. I didn't write this to go all preachy on you and tell you what to do. I just wanted to share what I had in mind. It's your fault you clicked on the link. KIDDING. :)) But I do hope that this blog will help you think about your relationships, especially if you are in one right now with a person of the opposite sex and not yet married!

Before I got off, I began asking myself, "Will I ever get married?" The answer: I don't know. And I don't really want to know, because honestly I'm not ready for that. When I will be ready is yet another mystery. (Ok, now, don't tell Tita Marlyn, because she'll get angry at me. Hahaha.)

Just a random train of thought. Off to lunch! ;)